Yes, I know that there may be technically perfect leaders--and followers--who may not value or grok this..... AND it is delicious to me!
In fact, I can be buoyed for a week or so by the memory of even one or two such dances. This type of communion is exquisite--and the reason I keep coming back to tango.
On the other hand, I also enjoy dancing with men who are always
experimenting, and leading me in new ways and combinations...so I need to stay very tuned to my insides, and therefore be more available to picking up, sensing, where they are, and what they are wanting of me, in each poignant moment. In those dances, it is thrilling in another way...sort of a dance of discovery. [In a funny way, I feel as if I'm being deftly led westward, across the plains, in the arms of a modern-day Lewis or Clark. Always venturing where we've never gone before...]
Recently, in a very crowded practicum at the home of one of my teachers, it was literally a mob scene, of mainly beginner dancers. It was not always safe dancing with them, especially 'cause they were often focused on the steps and not on the follower's safety. So it was hard to relax and stay focused - I was trying to watch out for myself too.
However, when I began dancing with one of the more advanced men, who DOES dance from the inside out...even in the midst of this melee, I could hardly keep my eyes open! What I mean is...that his depth naturally awakened me to my depth and it was hard to focus on the outer environment much at all---meaning anything beyond my body and his. [So here I am dancing in this tango-zoo with my eyes closed!! Transported to an inner world where the music and close movement seemed to meld our bodies into one.]
And it really was like being part of his body...or being part of the One
body that our two bodies become for those three minutes.
This, for me, is tango at its best.
And it's amazingly sensual without being sexual. In fact, in a funny
sense, it's almost as if bringing in overt sexual energy would be an
intrusion, a dilution, or diminishment, of what is so lushly available.
[And it could be wonderful...just different.]
Also, I've enjoyed dances of this nature, or at least in this direction,
with a few men who I've never danced with before. And there are even a few more "beginner types" locally who naturally bring this sense of moving "from the inside out" to their learning and leading. I enjoy dancing with them too.
BTW, in the back of my mind, I keep thinking I should qualify what I'm
saying ...so that those who are more technically oriented, or less feeling or intuitively oriented...will realize that this is One woman's view. It is Not about them...how they lead or what they value.
It is about what I/I/I value. And certainly not every woman values this I know. It may not even make sense to some or many of them.
However, for me, it is food for my soul. And it's why I do the Argentine
Diane from Montréal writes:
I have felt pain during a sandwich or a foot drag, but I do not believe
it was due to the shoes my partner was wearing. I attribute it to the
man's lack of skill or care in performing these moves.
I have been the recipient of sandwiches in which it appeared that the
man's goal was to crush my foot in a vice grip between his two feet.
Then there are the sandwiches in which the man is actually standing ON
one side of my foot or the other. I never bothered to look at the type
of shoes these men were wearing because I think these situations would
be painful if the man was barefoot!
There are foot drags where the man seems to feel he must build up a good
head of steam and hit my foot with force in order to move it. (I am
usually properly weighted, so this is not the case.) This will hurt
regardless of the type of shoes worn by the man.
Since comparisons to cars are in vogue at the moment, I will try one of
my own. Some men act as if they are cars which have just experienced
a complete brake failure and my foot is the wall which will bring them
to a stop. If you try this with your car, you will likely find you
have damaged the wall. Men who stop on their own at the last possible
moment before reaching my foot, so that the actual contact feels like
a caress, can wear any kind of shoes they want. My only suggestion
would go to the playful men who like to run their foot up my leg as an
adornment. Make sure your shoes are smooth so you don't snag my panty